Dean, The Witch And The Wardrobe
by nerdsaretotallyawesome
Summary: When a witch turns Dean into a girl, a lot of things happen. And you know what? Maybe it's not all bad.


There's a pang and a stabbing pain and Dean barely has time to realize what is happening before the witch dissapears and leaves them alone.  
Dean looks up at Sam and Cas, and sees a mixture of emotions on their faces. Sam looks like he doesn't know whether to laugh or to scream, and Cas… Cas looks a bit like a lost puppy.  
"Sam? What's wrong?" Dean asks, pushing the hair out of his eyes. Wait, what? He feels again and looks at the strands of long, brown hair in his hand. What?! He looks down, and sure enough, he's got boobs. Actual boobs. He doesn't know what to do with this information. They kinda hurt.  
"Dean, you're…"

"I'm a chick." Dean says dumbly.

With a whoosh they're back in the motel room, and the first thing Dean does is look in a mirror. Okay, he's hot. His hair is lucious and wavy and so soft, and his boobs are pretty sweet, not too big, not too small. Oh, this is just too weird.

"That friggin' bitch." He turns back and catches Castiel staring at him. Now, he's used to the angel staring at him, and hell, he kinda likes it. But this is… different. He's checking him out.  
Dean squirms uncomfortably, his clothes actually way too big for this female body. And shit, his boobs really hurt.  
"Sam, what the hell is going on?"  
"Well, from what I can tell, that witch turned you into a woman." Dean gives him a death glare but Sam doesn't look impressed.  
"We have to find a way to turn me back. This creeps me out, man." He sits down on the bed and absentmindedly massages his boobs. They look better than they feel, apparently.  
"I'll call Bobby, see what he's got." Sam offers. Dean nods and puffs out a sigh. All the while, Castiel hasn't said anything. He just stands there, looking at Dean but also looking like he's desperately trying to avoid looking at Dean.  
"Uh, Cas?" Cas immediately turns his head and looks Dean in the eyes. "You okay?" Castiel seems to contemplate his answer for some time, but finally says: "I am fine. I just need to accommodate to the fact that you are now female for the time being"  
"Me too, Cas."

Dean really hates to admit it, but he needs new clothes. Most importantly, he needs a bra.  
"Right, thanks Bobby." Dean looks expectantly at Sam, hoping he has a solution. "Bobby says that we need to kill her and then the curse will be lifted." Hm, sounds easy enough. "We just need to track her down."  
"Great. Can we go shopping now?"

They look like a weird gang, walking around in this huge clothing store. 2 dudes and a chick with guy clothes hanging off her body. Since they don't know how long Dean'll be a girl, he needs a couple of things.  
The girl at the store looks surprised and a bit concerned at first, but quickly restores herself and asks: "Hello, how can I help you?" Dean's gotten use to his higher pitched voice by now, but just asking this will scar him for life: "Hi. Uh, I need a couple of bras, some pants, shirts, a coat and some shoes." The girl nods and asks: "What size are you?"  
"Uh. I'm not sure." Okay, she's definitely weirded out now. "Put on some weight." Dean jokes to conceal his uncertainty. The girl relaxes and smiles. "Okay, I'll see what I can get for you."  
Goddamnit, bras are friggin' hard to handle. It's not like Dean hasn't had his fair amount of experience with them, but that was about getting them off, not putting the thing on.  
He doesn't know how, but he somehow manages to get it on about right. He blows a lock of hair out of his face and wishes he has something to put it back with.

"Are you ready?" The girl, Lindsay he learned, asks. "Yup." She opens the curtain of the fitting room and looks at Dean's chest. "Oh, that's a perfect fit. Don't you think?" She steps aside and Castiel comes into vision. Dean's arms cross over his chest almost instinctively, as if he's had to cover his dignity before.  
"Oh, aren't you two an item?" They exchange a look and Lindsay's eyes grow wider. "Oh, I'm sorry. I just assumed…" She blushes and looks very uncomfortable. Dean feels a weird sense of guilt and tries to console her, however weird it makes him feel. Damn girl hormones. Or whatever. "It's okay… Uh, we're close friends. It's fine. Right Cas?" Cas looks at Dean, seemingly startled. "Yes." He simply says. But it looks like it's good enough for Lindsay. Dean however feels very exposed right now and retreats back into the dressing room. "I'll just… Put some more clothes on."  
After paying for all Dean's things, they go back to the car, where Sam is already waiting for them.  
"Dude, where the hell even were you?" Dean asks, annoyed at him. Sam raises his eyebrows at Dean's tone. "Wow. You've got the girl voice down."  
"Very funny." Dean gets into the driver's seat and the others get in as well.

Cas is so _quiet_. Dean's gotten used to the angel being around them and occasionally make a remark or sometimes even a joke, however much lame. But now, it's like he isn't even there.

"Cas, you okay back there?" He looks in his rearview mirror and sees Castiel shift. He looks uncomfortable.

"I am fine." Dean snorts. Sure. He rolls his shoulders and feels his bra straps - god, that's a weird feeling - shifting. Is it normal that his boobs hurt that much? Do girls have to deal with this shit every day? Wow, he's happy he's a dude. Usually.

The rest of the car trip is kind of quiet and Sam seems like he doesn't really knows what he should say. C'mon, sure, Dean's currently a girl, but that doesn't mean he's a completely different person. He sighs. He feels an ache low in his belly. This day can not possibly get worse.

When they get into their hotel room, Dean immediately runs for the bathroom. He hopes it will help his bowels calm the fuck down. When he looks down at his girly underwear, he screams. There is friggin' blood down there. "Son of a bitch!" No, this is not happening to him. Oh, he will never get over this. This'll scar him for life.

"Dean, you okay?" He hears Sam from the room. "Do I sound like I'm okay?!" He doesn't want to tell Sam, because he'll laugh so hard he gets a heart attack, but he needs help. "I'm on my friggin' period, man." He hears Sam's surprised laughter and feels ready to stab him. "Not funny. You need to help me." Sam stops laughing and quickly answers: "Dude, I am not going in there." Dean sighs heavily and slaps his forehead. "You've had a girlfriend, you must know how to deal with this shit." A moment later Sam says: "Right, I'll go to the store to get your uh... Things." Then, quieter: "Uh, Cas? Make sure he uh.. She... Dean doesn't... Yeah, whatever." He hears the door close and then he hears footsteps approaching the bathroom. "Dean, can I help you?" Those are the first words he's said since they were in the store. Dean rubs his forehead. "No. Unless you can use your mojo to make it go away." He doesn't hear a reply for a couple of seconds. "I cannot. The witch's spell turned you into a full woman, and menstruation, as far as I understand it, is a part of that." Great, just what he needs to hear. This is just too much. Turning into a chick is one thing, getting a bra another, but a friggin' period is insane. He feels tears pricking in his eyes and it's such a girl thing to do but he can't help it. He just needs a hug right now. He leaves the bathroom, walking uncomfortably because of all the toilet paper he stuffed down his pants - he hopes it works - and walks straight up to Cas. He hugs him, wrapping his arms tightly around just above his waist, and Castiel tenses up. Dean can't seem to bother how weird this is, but hey, he's a girl, he's on his period, and Cas will just have to deal with it.

"Dean..." He says weakly. Dean grumbles, wraps around even tighter, and firmly says: "Cas, hold me or I'm gonna cry. I'm being legit, man." Then Cas wraps his own arms around Dean's shoulders and Dean burrows his face in his shoulder. They stay like this for sometime, until Dean's had enough and loosens his grip. When they break apart, Dean doesn't really want to look Cas in the face. He takes a step back and wants to scratch the stubble on his chin, but he only finds smooth, soft skin where the roughness should be.

"Ugh!" He cries out. He's so done with this body, these feelings,... He hates how he feels like he needs Cas, in another way than just being hunting partners and friends.

"Dean..." Castiel tries again. Dean looks at him, suddenly pissed off.

"What? What is it?" He doesn't know why, but he feels the need to yell and stamp his foot on the ground and punch someone in the face. Is this like a side effect of periods? Goddamn, that's annoying.

"You haven't said more than 10 words since that bitch turned me!" Castiel looks at him as if he doesn't know how to react, until Dean walks straight up to him and demands he answers him. Castiel looks vaguely frightened, and Dean can't really blame the guy. Badass angel or not, angry women are scary as hell.

"I am experiencing discomfort ever since you are female. That is why I didn't talk very much or seemed at a loss for words. I find it hard to adjust myself." Dean scoffs. Oh, he's uncomfortable? Dean is the one in this body! He's about to say as much when he looks at Castiel and can't help but notice how nice his face is. From up close, his eyes are so blue and his lips are chapped as always but still manage to look soft. Even the constant confusion on his face is oddly endearing.

Oh no. Dean _likes _him now? Did the witch make him like guys? Is it possible for a witch to do that? Cas is still looking at him and Dean realizes how close they are. Then it strikes him that the witch can't possibly have made him like Cas. Sure, she changed his body, and he is currently influenced by crazy hormones or whatever, but he still feels the same sense of protection over Sam, the same love for his car. Maybe being a girl doesn't make him like Cas, maybe it's just helping him realize. Because blaming it on hormones is easier than coming to terms with it any day. And Dean can't deny, even to himself, that he likes Cas.

He suddenly feels cramps low in his belly and curses whatever makes him feel that.

"Ah!" He claps double and he feels Cas' hand on his shoulder instantly, keeping him from falling over. "Dean? What is wrong?" Dean does not feel like doing anything but cry out right now. He somehow manages to get out: "Cramps."

"Is there anything I can do?" Dean stands up a little straighter, not wanting to let something as stupid as cramps get the best of him, but holy shit does that hurt. And he's been to Hell. "I don't know, I've never dealt with this before." He decides it's best to lie down or something, as he doesn't really have anything better to do anyway. Castiel follows Dean with his eyes as he drops himself onto the bed. He stands there for a few moments, unsure of what to do now.

"You're just gonna stand there?" Cas looks at Dean questioningly. "What do you wish me to do?" Dean will never admit to having said this ever, but he answers: "Can you... Hold me?" He hears himself say it and immediately wants to take the words back. It's not because he likes Cas, that Cas feels comfortable doing something like that. Hell, Dean isn't even sure if Castiel knows what love feels like. Huh, love. But Castiel doesn't hesitate and with the swiftness of an angel he takes Dean and pulls him against him. Dean closes his eyes and involuntarily imagines how this would feel with him being a guy. Then he remembers Cas' earlier words. "Hey, Cas? Doesn't this weird you out?" He feels rather than hears him sigh. "Admittedly, yes. But if this is comforting for you at this time, then I will put my own feelings aside and help you."

"Wow uh, thanks man." Dean says dumbly. The cramps are still very painful, but somehow they don't seem to hurt as much anymore. Dean guesses it must be the warmth or the comfort brought by Cas.

A couple of minutes later, he hears the Impala's engine and the slam of a car door. His eyes fly open and he gets up out of Cas' embrace. If anything, he doesn't want to grant Sam the pleasure of finding him snuggled up against him. He looks at Cas apologetically, wanting to make sure that he didn't hurt his feelings. Wow, this girl stuff is really starting to change him. And weirdly, he's sort of okay with it.

Sam comes in and hands Dean a plastic bag. "Here." Dean takes it and immediately runs back into the bathroom. Oh shit, he doesn't know how this stuff works. He takes a box of tampons out and decides to try those first. He's pretty sure where it's supposed to go, and it's not like he doesn't know where to locate it.

"Son of a bitch!" Okay, tampons hurt like hell. Isn't it supposed to feel like, good? Apparently not. He checks the box to see if he's even using it right, but no: it's not him. He tries again and it won't work and he bursts out into tears because it friggin' hurts.

"Dean? Are you okay?" Sam asks. Dean does not feel like talking about it, let alone to his brother. Periods are not something dudes discuss.

"Leave me alone!" He yells, burying his face in his hands. His hair falls forward and he tucks it behind his ear. Fuck it. He wipes the tears from his eyes and decides to give up on them and pulls out a box of pads. These seem easier. It takes some fiddling with the sticky thing and he's fairly certain he put it on backwards, but hey, it's on and it's not like you learn how to use them as a guy. He exits the bathroom triumphantly. "Got it."

"Great. But promise me we won't talk about this again. Like, ever." Sam says. Dean agrees and walks over to the table. Cas is standing next to it, looking at him. Dean claps him on the shoulder, squeezing maybe a little tighter than normal.

"Now, we've got a witch to find."

Finding the witch doesn't prove to be a problem. It only takes them about a day or so to track her down. Dean is slowly becoming used to this shape, but it still weirds him out when he looks in the mirror and sees a girl. Castiel isn't quite as quiet anymore, but Dean can feel the tension between them. It feels wrong to feel these things about Cas as a girl; like he's somehow cheating. He hopes he can be a guy again soon.

Apparently the witch has been expecting them, as she doesn't seem at all surprised when she sees Dean, Sam and Cas bursting through the door of the motel room.

"Oh, hey guys. And girl." She adds with a smirk on her face. Oh, this bitch will pay. "Having fun being a chick?" Dean is not dealing with her shit today, and instead of answering, he surges forward to plant his knife in her chest. He's not quick enough, and this unfamiliar body doesn't help him anyway, so she ends up dodging him and he falls forward.

"Whoops." She teases. Dean looks up at her and really, this has to end right about now. He's had enough of this crap, and he wants to be a guy now more than ever. So he rolls over, thrusts his knife forward, and as he suspected, the witch dodges him. She is stopped by Sam, who stabs her in the back. Dean feels incredibly happy when he sees the light go out in her eyes, because this douchebag has given him enough trouble and trauma to last years.

He even feels happy when he feels the familiar, stabbing pain of his transformation. Sam and Cas look at him and again, he sees a mixture of emotions. Castiel looks very happy and maybe even relieved, while Sam is obviously happy, but is also doing a bad job at containing his laughter.

"What?" Dean asks, and is pleased to hear his manly voice again. Sam points at him and Dean quickly realizes something. He's still wearing his girl clothes. "You shut your cakehole."

Back in the motel room, when Dean has changed back into his familiar plaid shirt and boots, he's happy this is all over. Taking the pad off was even worse when he was a dude again. Brrr.

Sam and Castiel are standing in the motel room, both looking at Dean. "So uh, Dean? Do you feel yourself again?" Sam asks. Dean grins. "Yeah. Man, I missed being a dude." Sam takes a relieved breath, but Castiel is still looking at Dean intently.

"What?" Dean asks. " Is something wrong?" Castiel looks him in the eyes, frowning slightly. "No. You seem to have returned to your usual state, and your soul bears no markings of the past events. You are fine." Dean raises his eyebrows, not sure why Cas is frowning if he's supposedly okay. Apparently they have been staring at each other for a while, because Sam clears his throat and says: "Right, so... I'll go fix us some grub." He turns around, but before he's completely out the door, he holds up a hand and says: "And yes, I'll bring pie."

He closes the door behind him and then Dean and Cas are alone. They look at each other again, and Dean sees that his frown has turned into a small smile, the most he's ever seen Cas smile at all. He's happy, too. Then Dean gets hit by the realisation that his feelings are still very much there. Even now, as a guy, he feels exactly the same about Cas as when he was a girl. So now he's sure girly hormones aren't influencing him. It doesn't scare him at all. It's more of a relief, actually. Like there's this huge ass weight lifted from his chest. He walks closer to Cas and tentatively puts his hand on his shoulder. Cas' smile grow wider ever so slightly, but it's enough for Dean to know he's okay with it. "Cas?"

"Yes, Dean." Dean takes a deep breath. He is so bad at this, but it's worth it. This is Cas. "I uh... When I was a girl... I realized this thing and it's really important. I uh... I-" He can't get it out. Not because the words he means to say aren't true, but because it's scary and weird. Cas searches his face and for once seems to realise what he's getting at. "Dean, are you trying to tell me that you love me?" Wow, leave it to Cas to put it like it is. He can't do anything but nod and he looks down at his trench coat, suddenly not daring to look him in the eyes. He's being such a girl about it, he realizes. Huh. How ironic.

Now determined to show he can be a man about this, he looks back up and Cas' eyes are on him. Dean hesitates a little at first, but cups Cas' cheek with his right hand. Castiel seems to handle it well, but Dean still isn't sure if he should- Oh. Well, this definitely changes things. Cas puts his hand against Dean's neck very softly, and he looks at him almost desperately. Fuck it. He loves Cas. It looks like Cas at least likes him back. They're friggin' adults. Well, an adult and a celestial being.

He closes the already small distance between them and softly presses his lips to Cas'. Cas immediately reacts and reciprocates the kiss. For an angel, he's a damn good kisser. Dean's hands move to hold Cas' face, and Cas presses his hand to the back of Dean's neck, to push them even closer together. It's probably the best kiss Dean's ever had.

When they break apart, Dean holds Castiel to him by the waist, his hands holding the fabric of the trenchcoat he kept safe for him for so long. Their foreheads are touching, and Dean thinks of how long it took him to realize his feelings towards Cas. Maybe the witch turning him into a woman wasn't so bad after all. Except for the period. Wow, he's getting off track. He gets whisked back to reality by Castiel's voice. "Dean?"

"Yeah?" Dean says hoarsely.

"I love you, too." Dean smiles widely and kisses him firm on the mouth. Oh, it was definitely worth it.


End file.
